Non-Existent
by EllieKae
Summary: A young girl is found naked and beaten on the train tracks of the Dauntless Compound with no remembrance of the days before and is soon taken in by a welcoming family. Two year later, she is struggling in initiation when she asks for help from the guy everyone tells her not to get involved with. Eric x OC, Uriah x OC. Rated M for language, sex scenes, and non-con/rape scene. No war
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Disclaimer: I do not own any aspects of the Divergent Trilogy including characters, settings, etc. I decided to match many of the appearances of the characters to the movie versions instead of the books simply because I like their version slightly better especially when it comes to Eric. As for Uriah Pedrad, I have "cast" him as Booboo Stewart and Hana Pedrad as Catherine Bell. For other characters, I will tell you who I cast for them as they are introduced. Unfortunately, I do not have an actress for the main character because I could not find one that fit my vision of her so I will tell you she has strawberry-blonde hair, brown eyes, and fair skin. The beginnning of the chapter takes place about a year before Uriah and Tris' initiation. Please follow, favorite, and review. I really appreciate you guys taking the time to read this, I hope the author's notes will not normally be this lengthy. -Ellie:)**

**Chapter 1**

"Shit, is she dead?" A young boyish voice fills my ears followed by a gentle kick to my leg.

"Shut up Uriah. She's not dead." Another boy talks, though he sounds much older.

"Zeke, put your shirt over her." I try to open my eyes enough to see their faces but my right eye refuses to open and the severe pain in the rest of my body causes me to squeeze my good eye shut. Apparently I make a noise because I hear gasps come from the two boys.

"See I told you she's not dead. We have to get her to the infirmary." My breaths become short and my nausea grows stronger but my breathing calms as I feel myself drift off into sleep.

* * *

I don't remember anything about yesterday or the day before that or even the years before that. All I know is that my body hurts and that I am in some kind of hospital; and that is about it. I don't even know my own damn name. I look down and realize that bruises cover my body, they darkly contrasts against my pale skin. A loud knock sounds at the door directly in front of my bed. A nurse walks in and glances down at her clipboard.

"Oh good you're awake." She smiles warmly at me and stands to my side. "I'm Nurse Alice, could you maybe tell me your name, sweetheart?" Shit. I close my eyes and try to focus on the years before but a white noise surrounds my thoughts.

"I don't know what my name is" I look down at my hands. A long silence passes between the nurse and I.

"You don't remember anything about your past life?" I shake my head despite the drilling feeling in my head. "Well, if it helps any, around the hospital we have been calling you Rose because of the birthmark on your wrist." She gently turns my left wrist to show me the mark she is talking about.

"That's a nice name" I try to give her a small smile.

"Do you know what happened to you _Rose_?" Her voice is cautious. I can't tell if she knows and she is testing me or she honestly doesn't know.

"No" She looks down at her clipboard nervously.

"Well when Uriah and Zeke Pedrad found you, you were naked and very close to death. When they brought you here, we got you all fixed up and gave you a physical exam. The physical exam told us that you had severe vaginal scarring, some that are up to three years old. We believed you were tortured and dumped here on purpose. Max is quite skeptical of your reason of being here and he would like to question you" She stays silent and lets everything sink in.

"Who is Max?"

"He is the leader of Dauntless. He will explain everything to you since you don't seem to remember." She holds out a stack of folded black clothes. "Here, I brought you some clothes to change into."

After I change into the clothes I follow Alice through the dark and cold hallways. We come to a door with no door handles. She looks up at a camera above the door.

"We are here to see Max. This is the girl who was found by the tracks." After a minute of us just standing there, the door finally opens. The nurse leads me to the office at the end of the hall. She knocks before opening the door. An older man sits behind the desk. That must be Max. A much younger man sits in one of the chairs. He has dark blonde hair, an eyebrow piercing, and two tattoos down his neck that look like stripes. They both stare at us as we walk in. The younger man looks me up and down and then his face twists in confusion. His stare breaks from me and moves to Max. He starts to ask Max a question but Max cuts him off.

"Eric, Our business here is done, why don't you walk out Alice on your way?" Max speaks with authority and Eric obeys but not before awkwardly staring at me again. Once the door closes behind them Max motions for me to sit down, "So do you have a name?" his voice is not as friendly as it was a couple minutes ago.

"Rose" I'm trying to keep my answers concise.

"What are your intentions of coming here Rose?" He narrows his eyes at me.

"My _intentions_" I am completely confused now.

"Who sent you here?" I start to get a little angry at his interrogation.

"Look, No one sent me here. Well, I don't think. I don't remember anything about myself or anyone else before today so would you please stop treating me like a fucking terrorist." I didn't mean to let the f-word slip but I guess I got my point across because Max stops narrowing his eyes at me.

"So you don't know which faction you came from?"

"What the hell is a faction?" Max stays silent for a while and sits back in his chair.

"I'll have Hana explain it to you. Hana Pedrad is the head of the household you will be staying with until you are sixteen-years old. Here in your file it says you are about fourteen so you have two years." He turns his attention away from me and back to his computer. I sit there awkwardly not knowing what to do or think of this all. "Leave. Hana should be waiting for you outside." He barks impatiently. God, I do not want to get on his bad side but I think I already am.

I walk back down the long hallway and the door automatically slides open as I approach it. An older woman stands outside the door. Once she sees me she smiles slightly. "Hi, I'm Hana" she waves me to follow her. "My sons were the ones who found you" I smile politely at her and mutter a thank-you. She explains the factions and the choosing ceremony to me. We arrive at her family apartment and she shows me to her oldest son, Zeke's room who went through initiation a year ago and moved into his own apartment. Hana tells me her other son, Uriah will be going through initiation this upcoming year. I look around the small, dark blue room once she leaves me by myself. I lie back on the bed and stare up at celling. This is home now.

* * *

**_2 years later_**

"Are you nervous about tomorrow?" Uriah smiles teasingly and I can't help but smile back.

"No." I laugh because he won't stop staring at me. Four and Zeke try not to pay attention to us and focus on their video game but it's kind of hard when Uriah is loud and is constantly touching me. I know it's kind of weird that I live with his parents and we are messing around but he has his own place so it's not like we live together. Hana doesn't exactly know I stay with him most nights, she thinks I am staying with Tris, Four's girlfriend.

Uriah pulls me by my waist into his lap and kisses me. He has no shame. Zeke and Four are sitting right next to us and he is trying to do this right now. I pull back and see Four blushing and Zeke's disgusted look on his face. Four isn't very comfortable with public displays of affection. He and Tris, only sometimes hold hands but that basically all we see. "Get a room" Zeke comments but doesn't take his eyes off the screen. Uriah kisses me again just to spite Zeke. I stand up from his lap. I'm not really in the mood right now. I can't stop thinking about the Choosing Ceremony tomorrow.

"What?" Uriah asks obviously confused why I didn't want to kiss him anymore.

"Do you guys think I'm ready for Dauntless initiation? Anytime I ask you guys to spar you always go easy on me." I'm not sure I can fight nearly as good as the other Dauntless kids.

"No we don't" Zeke says with a smile on his face.

"Yes you do." I pout and sit down on the floor in front of the couch. Uriah gets up from his seat.

"Alright let's fight." He holds out his hand to help me up. I smile and take his hand. I don't hesitate at all and punch him hard in the stomach though he doesn't seem to be really phased by it. I see a small smile pull on the corners of his mouth as he knocks me onto the couch and starts playfully kissing my neck. I hear Zeke and Four laughing in the background. I push on Uriah's chest.

"You never take anything seriously." I push him off of me.

"Calm down Babe. You'll do fine." I go back to pouting when Zeke asks me if I know if Max decided whether to put me with Dauntless or Transfer initiates. Four decides to answer for me.

"Max is putting her with Dauntless born initiates if she chooses Dauntless tomorrow." He gives me a sad look. I look down at the ground trying to collect my thoughts. I try to smile despite my thoughts.

"Uh, I'm getting pretty tired. I think I'm going to go home." I get up and start to walk toward the door.

"I'll come with you" Uriah gets up and catches up next to me. "Bye guys" he waves to Four and Zeke as we leave. He wraps his arm around my waist once we get into the narrow, cold hallways of the Dauntless Compound. "Hey are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just tired" I rub my eyes and pretend to be groggy. I stop in front of my door and Uriah stands in front of me.

"Do you want to come to my place?" He is somewhat serious for the first time tonight.

"No, I think I'll pass tonight. I just want to go to bed." I rub my eyes again.

"Alright, I'll see you tomorrow night though, right?" He smiles as he walks away. I nod and give him a small smile. I honestly have no idea what I am choosing tomorrow.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Okay so quite a few character are introduced in this chapter so I will be naming the character name and then who I cast for them below, also reviews are much appreciated.**

**River Carpenter:**** Graham P. Martin**

**Lily Carpenter****: Spencer Locke**

**Ebony Hugh**** (Abnegation girl): Christa B. Allen**

**Elliot Mercy: ****Gregg Sulkin**

**Roma Tilton****:Emily Ratajkowski**

**Sylvie Crocket:**** Evanna Lynch**

**Drew Clarke****: Israel Broussard**

**Johanna Collier****: Jeanine Mason**

**Mica Carter****: Eve Hewson.**

**Chapter 2**

Candor. My aptitude test told me I was best fit for candor. I didn't tell them yesterday because I don't want to leave them. I don't want to leave Hana and Uriah and Zeke and Four and Tris but I also feel that I'm not ready for initiation. All the dauntless initiates have been training for this their whole life when I have only been training for this for less than two years. Hana sits quietly next to me as we wait for my name to be called. She didn't have to come but she did. _Joseph Peck._ An Abnegation boy gets up from his seat and makes his way to the bowls in the center of the room. He cuts his hand and holds it over the bowl full of water. I hear his mom scream out of sadness.

The next name is called once the boy sits with his new faction. _Rose Pedrad._ I'm not a Pedrad but they don't know what else to call me. I stand up and give Hana a small smile. I can feel everyone's eyes on me as I walk up to the bowls. Dauntless or Candor? Johanna Reyes, the Amity representative, gestures to the knife in front of me. I stare at the bowl of glass and the bowl of hot coals. I press the tip of knife into the meaty part of my thumb and slide it along my hand. I close my eyes and put my hand over the bowl that I feel I most belong to.

"Dauntless" I open my eyes and see Johanna smiling at me. I can hear the hoots and hollers of the dauntless welcoming me back into the group. I turn around and try to give them my best smile despite the uneasy turning in my stomach. I'm now an official dauntless initiate. Hopefully I can make it through initiation.

* * *

I try to stay ahead of the transfers as we run to the train. Most of them struggle from their lack of exercise but the two amity twins have no problem running. We finally reach the train tracks and the transfers try to catch their breath. I close my eyes and try to listen for the train over the sounds of the dauntless born taunting the transfers for their red faces. Many of the dauntless born hear the train and begin to jog. The transfers groan at the thought of more running.

The train passes by me and I grab hold of the door handle and swing myself in the car easily. I have done this for what seems like a million times now. I watch as the transfers struggle to catch up with the train and then climb into the cars. One abnegation boy cannot keep up with the train. His brown eyes look desperate as he tries to reach out for the door handle. He loses his footing and falls really close to the train tracks. I close my eyes and look away as I hear his screams and cries.

I glance around the train car. I know most of the dauntless born but I don't really speak to any of them. I look at the nervous transfers. The two twins, River and Lily I believe their names are, sit close together only speaking to each other. Amity transfers are extremely rare but the fact that they are twins makes it even rarer. An abnegation with mousy brown hair and pale skin sits in the corner by herself looking out the window of the train. A group of six erudite and candor sit together and talk about how nervous they are. There is one candor boy, one erudite boy, two erudite girls, and two candor girls. The candor boy keeps looking over at Lily and her brother. It makes me really suspicious and not inclined to trust the guy.

I must have been staring at them too long because the erudite boy smiles at me and waves me over to their group. I notice him holding hands with an exotic looking girl to his right. They seem to not be able to keep their hands off of each other. "Hi, I'm Elliot" he smiles at me and his girlfriend smiles at me too.

"I'm Roma" The tanned girl holds out her hand to shake it.

"Rose" I smile back at them and look around the group. Each of the transfers in the group introduces themselves to me. Drew is the dark-haired candor boy. He gave me the creeps when he talked to me; he kept scanning my body with dark eyes.

The other erudite girl looks almost albino. Everything about her is light, light hair, light eyes, light skin. Her name is Sylvie.

The two candor girls are Johanna and Mica. Mica is very reserved and has light brown hair and blue eyes. Johanna, on the other hand, is very loud and outgoing and has dark brown hair, tan skin, and brown eyes.

Now the only transfer initiate I don't know the name of is the quiet abnegation girl. I figure she probably doesn't want to be talked to and decide to keep my distance. I will figure out her name soon enough. I look out the window and realize we are getting close to the compound. I stand up and the transfers soon follow. Many of the dauntless initiates already started jumping on to the gravel rooftops. I look over at the confused transfers. "Just get a running start and jump with all the strength you have." I walk backwards until my back foot hits the wall. I have done this millions of times coming back from school. I run with all my might and keep my eyes trained on the roof.

I land on my feet and run forward to catch my balance. The abnegation girl had already started running and was in midair when I turned around. She landed roughly but on her feet. I watch as the erudites and candors start to jump but Drew stays behind along with the twins. River seems to be comforting Lily. He runs and jumps on to the roof with ease. As Lily and Drew run, Drew sticks his foot in the way of Lily's path. No one sees it but me and River. Lily trips at the last second. Drew makes it onto the roof but barely as Lily plummets to her death. I watch River's horrified look twist with malice. He screams as he tackles Drew to the ground and starts wailing on him. A group forms around the two boys. I watch as Eric and Tris push their way through the crowd. Eric pulls River off the now bloody Drew. Tris pulls Drew to stand up. Eric looks pissed. "You" he points to Drew. His face is so bloody I can't even tell where it is coming from. "Learn how to hit the fuck back" Drew heaves and falls to his knees as the group moves over to the ledge where Tris and Eric take their place. I study Eric as Tris waits for the crowd to quiet down. He has always intrigued me. The way he seems to never talk to anyone unless he is yelling at them or it is strictly business. Four told me that he was ruthless and would not hesitate to kill me if I ever got in his way. I've only ever spoke to him a couple times but they were all because he was yelling at me for something I did.

"Initiates" Tris yells out over the conversation about what had just happened. "My name is Tris and this is Eric" She speaks authority and everyone listens. "We are two of the five leaders here at Dauntless" Tris took a place in leadership after one of the older leaders "retired" last year. "I might not look like much but I can assure I can easily beat each and every one of you within an inch of your life." The crowd stays quiet this time. "The same goes for my fellow leader" Tris crosses her arms and waits for Eric to speak.

"So" Eric smirks with sarcastic enthusiasm and taps the ledge behind him "Which one of you is going to jump over this ledge first?" He scans the crowd and points to Drew. "You, Bloody Face, jump" I hear some of the dauntless born groan and complain "But he is going to get blood everywhere". Drew walks up to the front of the crowd and attempts to wipe some of the caked blood off his face but it doesn't' work. He stands up on the ledge and curses.

"I'm not jumping" Drew stares at Eric. Eric stares back.

"Do it or you're out" Drew looks down the dark hole, considering his options. Eric must have decided for him because he decides to just push him. We hear Drew's screams the whole way down.

The transfers eventually all jump. Now it is the dauntless born turn. When we all come back from school a leader is always on the rooftop to make sure we go down the stairs instead of taking the net but some kids decide cleaning up the cafeteria for a week is worth it to throw themselves off of a ledge and into a net. The dauntless born start taking turns jumping. Once it's my turn I stand at the ledge and take a deep breath. I close my eyes and take a step off. The wind gets knocked out of me from the huge fall until I hit the net. Which is not as comfortable as it sounds; it basically digs itself into your skin.

"Hey Rose, good to have you back" Four gives me his famous strained smile and pulls me off the net. I go stand by Uriah. He is a dauntless born trainer this year along with Eric. Four and Tris are dealing with transfer initiates. Eric and Tris exit the door from the stair well and come and stand by their groups. Uriah whispers over to me "Did you see that guy who got beat up?"

I nod my head "Yeah I watched it happen. Serves him right too."

Uriah chuckles "Tell me what happened at dinner, okay?"

"Okay" I look ahead at Eric staring at us. He obviously doesn't approve of Uriah being a trainer. Four gathers the transfers.

"Alright transfers follow me. Dauntless born you obviously know your way around."


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: So I think I am going to try to update once a week, hopefully more but I don't want to set up unrealistic expectations. Please tell me what you think, I love feedback! There are three new character introduced that I have not cast so here they are:**

**Alice Quinn****: Allison Brie**

**Katherine Quinn:**** Willa Holland**

**Harry Schneider:**** Thomas Mann**

**Chapter 3**

"Rose wake up" I feel Uriah shake my shoulder gently. It's first day of initiation. I look at him through my sleepy eyes; he is pulling up his pants and buckling his belt. He smiles at me "Good morning Sleepyhead." I get out of bed and trudge into the bathroom. I brush my teeth and put my hair into a braid.

I peek at Uriah looking for what shirt to wear. I sneak up behind him and kiss the place between his shoulder and neck. He turns around slowly and wraps his arms around my waist. He presses his lips against mine gently. I wrap my hand around his neck and force the kiss to be deepened. I moan against his lips trying to get him all riled up. His hands move from my lower back to my upper thighs. He smiles as I let him lift me up and wrap my legs around his waist. Uriah brings us over to the bed and sets me down underneath him. He pulls away from me suddenly "Shit, what time is it?" He looks at the clock. "You need to get dressed" Uriah stands up from the bed. I jump up and start to walk over to the shelf I keep my extra clothes. He slaps my butt as I walk by, "Don't worry, we will finish this later".

* * *

When I walk into the training room people are scattered across the room stretching. Uriah joins Eric on the other side of the room and I sit down on the floor to start stretching. After about five minutes, Uriah calls us to follow him. We follow him out a side door out of the compound and start on a full on sprint. After ten minutes of running it feels like someone ripped a huge hole in my lung. We continue to run for at least another ten minutes. By the time we make our way back into the compound I am seeing black dots.

Eric is waiting for us when we get back. "Everyone, grab a gun and take position" He yells with hands behind his back. I grab a gun from the table and go to one of the targets in the back of the room. I always hated guns. They are heavy and unnecessarily loud. Since Dauntless born should already know the proper form the instructors pass on the instructing part and people start shooting immediately. I hold up the gun and cock it. I think about the middle of the target and pull the trigger but I flinch from the noise and kickback and end up hitting the wall _behind _the target. Eric and Uriah walk back and forth helping people on their way. I try a couple more times and wait for Eric to approach me. He watches me attempt to hit the target before stepping in. "Hold your breath. It will help keep you steady and maybe help with the flinching". I hold my breath and focus on the target. I pull the trigger and flinch, but not as bad this time. I hit the outer ring of the target. I smile at Eric but his eyebrows remain furrowed. "Better" he says as he walks away to help someone else.

By the time Eric calls us to get the throwing knifes; I had hit the middle of the target once and continued to at least hit the outer rings. I pick up as many knifes as I can carry and take them over to my target. Knifes are so much more practical to me. I take one in my hand and get into position. I practice the motion of the knife before actually throwing it. I place the knife in position beside my ear and throw it toward the target, making sure to follow through. It hits directly in the center. I glance at Eric and Uriah. I have their attention now. I can't help but smile as my next knife hits the target slightly to the right but still in the center. I look around the training room and realize that only a couple initiates have even _hit_ their target, most of them struggling with the handle of the knife coming in contact with the target instead of the tip. I try throwing again but this time I have the same problem as the other initiates. I continue to throw for the next thirty minutes. Most of the time I got it on target but sometimes the handle would bounce off and fall onto the ground.

"You are dismissed for lunch" Eric calls out to everyone. I start to put up my knifes but Eric grabs my arm. "Hold on, I want to see you throw more" Eric scans my face. I see Uriah wait by the doors as everyone files out of the room.

"Go on, I'll meet you there" I wave Uriah to meet me in the cafeteria. Eric holds the knifes as we walk to the closest target.

"Stand by the wall and see if you can throw as well from there" I step back, doubling the distance between the target and I. I get into position and throw the knife with all of my strength. It ends up clanking against the floor. Shit. Eric crosses his arms and gives me a smug little smile. Fuck Eric and his smug fucking smile. "Again" He orders and hands me another knife. I hold it next to my ear and prepare to throw it at the target but at the last second I decide for something else. I fling the knife into the wooden beam next to Eric's face making a clean cut on his right cheek. His face flashes with fear for a half-second before turning into rage. "You Bitch!" He tightly grips a knife and drops the extras. Before he can take too much of a step toward me I grab the knife that slid next to my foot and hold it up toward him in defense.

"Don't fucking move" I threaten him, though I take it he doesn't take kindly to threats. The cut in his cheek starts to bleed heavily. "Look, I didn't mean to cut you" I search his face for some mercy but only find myself disappointed. A long pause passes through us.

"Fine, let me cut _you_. It would only be fair." That same damn smile plays on his lips. I think about any other escape route but I know this is the only way so I slowly lower my knife.

"Fine" A surprised look crosses his face but he makes his way toward me. I can't believe I'm doing this. He raises the tip of his knife to my neck. Shit, I knew I should not have trusted this guy. He drags the tip along my chest and collarbones not breaking skin.

"Hmm, where should I put this cut?" He drags it across of the tops of my breasts and moves it to my face. "Should I put it here where everyone could see it or should I put it—" He drags the blade across my body to my inner upper thigh "here where only your precious boyfriend could see it. I glare at him and try not to anticipate the sting of the blade cutting into my skin. I feel a push against my shoulders and I step backwards to keep my balance. He didn't cut me. "Points for bravery. Go eat your fucking lunch." He gestures with the knife to the door and I definitely do not wait for him to change his mind and cut me into pieces.

When I get into the lunch room I see Uriah at a lunch table with Four, Tris, Zeke, and Zeke's new girlfriend, Alice. I always liked Alice she is one of the nicest nurses in the dauntless compound. I sit down at the table and start to make my plate. "Why did Eric hold you back?" Uriah sounds genuinely concerned with a hint of jealousy.

I shrug my shoulders casually, "I don't know, I guess he wanted to see how good my knife throwing skills were." I smile playfully at everyone. I look around the cafeteria and see Elliot and Roma wondering around, not knowing where to sit. I also notice one of the amity twins, well I guess he is not really a twin anymore, I notice _River_ sitting by himself with a black eye in the corner of the cafeteria. I try not to think too hard about it and wave Elliot and Roma over to us "Hey, you guys can sit with us if you want." They smile and sit down next to me. I point to everyone at the table. "That's Zeke, Alice, Uriah, and you guys know Four and Tris." Four and Tris glare at them trying to keep their hardened trainer reputation still standing, "Guys, this is Elliot and Roma" All the boys gawk at Roma, and Elliot protectively wraps his arm around her. The group eventually warms up to Elliot and Roma and they do the same.

"Are you ready for fights?" Uriah asks trying to sense if I'm nervous.

"Yeah" I shrug my shoulders. I just hope I'm not going to get beat to a bloody pulp.

* * *

"You're Alice's sister right?" I ask the blue-eyed girl. There is no denying she is Alice's sister. They look exactly the same. She studies me with no emotion in her face for a minute before answering.

"Katherine" I nod and smile at her. I open my mouth to tell her my name but she waves her hand in front of me and speaks with utter disgust "I already know your name." I take that back, she is nothing like her sister. We step onto the dark red mat in front of us and take our place. Eric and Uriah are having us spar with other initiates while we wait for our fight. I'm teamed up with Harry, a tall boy with a kind smile. He doesn't have a lot of muscle on him, though I wouldn't doubt his ability to kick my ass.

Harry and I's fight is second so I won't get much time to spar. Katherine manages to get a light kick in by the time Uriah calls me to get in the ring. Harry gives me a small sympathetic smile as we get into position. My stomach drops thinking about the punches I am probably going to have to take. We stare at each other trying to figure who is going to take the first punch. Harry swings with all his force and hits me in the side of the head. My vision goes blurry and I'm knocked off balance. I squeeze my eyes shut to try to correct my vision but all I feel is a strong kick to my side. I don't fall to the ground and try to regain my balance. Anger boils in my blood. I punch him in the jaw with all of my strength and follow with a hard kick to his stomach. It ends up knocking the wind out of him and he doubles over searching for air. I try to get him to the ground my kneeing him in the face while he is bent over but he catches my knee and pulls my weight out from underneath me. He stands up to his full height and begins to kick me in the head repeatedly. I know he is just trying to get it over with but apparently I am one stubborn son-of-a-bitch. I count every blow he makes to my head. One. Two. Three. Four. Five.

"Okay, that's enough for today" Eric yells with no compassion in his voice.

**A/N: Do you guys want Rose to get back her memory of before she was found or no? Leave a comment or vote at the poll on my page. Thank You.**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Sorry it took so long to get this chapter in. Before school started I was working double shifts at work and trying to get my summer reading done and after school started (two days ago) I have been going to school then going immediately to work. I was suppose to work today but they told me to take the day off so here I am. I am going to start working on Chapter 5 and I hope will be up soon, maybe even today. Warnings: Drug Use.**

**Chapter 4**

"Well it looks like you have a minor concussion which is surprising considering how many times you got kicked in the head. I know you have a huge headache so I would suggest staying in tonight and keeping a cold rag on your forehead." I nod slowly already feeling the effects of the pain killers Alice gave me. "As long as you are not vomiting nor have a huge migraine tomorrow you can start training again" I nod and get up from the infirmary bed. Uriah holds my arm to make sure I can keep my balance.

"Thanks Alice. Sorry for holding you up I know you and Zeke really want to go to the party tonight." She smiles and waves her hand at me as to say not-a-problem.

"Come on already, All the booze and X is going to be gone by the time we get there" Zeke calls from the hallway. All the couples in our group are going even Elliot and Roma but since I have a concussion it is probably best that I wait at home. "Uriah, Are you coming?" Zeke looks at Uriah and then to me as if to ask permission. I nod to both of them.

"Go ahead I'll meet you guys down there if I start to feel better." Uriah grins from ear to ear.

"Thanks Babe. I hope I see you there." He kisses me on the cheek quickly before running to catch up with everyone. I gather my stuff and head for the apartment. I need to get out of these gross clothes. They are full of sweat and blood.

Once I get to the apartment, I put my hair in a shower cap and take a quick shower. I don't know how I am possibly going to make it through initiation. I know I need extra help with training in everything to even be _close_ to anyone else's level of skill. I also know that the three friends, that could help me become a better fighter, won't help because they think it is unfair to the other initiates but how I feel is that it is unfair that I have to fight with a serious disadvantage. A name pops in my mind of someone who _might_ help if I beg and bribe him. Eric. I know he won't feel bad if he accidentally hits me too hard and would never dream of going easy on me. I need someone like him to train me. Someone ruthless.

I get out of the shower and take my hair out of the braid I had it in all day. My hair falls down in long, wavy locks. It doesn't look the best since I can't brush through it without my hair becoming extremely frizzy but it will look good enough if I braid back my bangs. I put on a simple black dress and enough makeup to make my face look like it had not taken multiple blows that day. Hopefully I can get down there, find Eric, and get out before Uriah even finds out I was there.

* * *

Parties like this are pretty common at Dauntless, where booze and drugs flow freely through everyone. Ecstasy is at every single one of these parties. It gets everyone hyped up and horny which what most people crave here. I've done it a couple times and it was scary good though I don't want to get hooked on it so I try to not do it as often as most people here. Uriah I'm pretty sure is hooked on it. I wouldn't go as far to say that he is addicted because he doesn't show up to work high though I am sure dauntless government could care less as long as he gets the job done. It is slightly annoying that I can almost never have a serious conversation with him and he constantly wants to have sex. It makes me worry that if I am not giving it to him then he will go off and finds some other girl that will. The whole thing is not as bad as it seems it just gets a little tiring at times.

I spot Eric sitting in the corner, drinking by himself. I approach with my chin up high hoping he won't immediately shut down my proposition.

"Hi" I say letting him know I'm there. He turns to me but then rolls his eyes once he sees who I am.

"What? Coming back for more?" He smirks sadistically at the thought of holding a knife to my skin.

"No, I've come to try to make a deal with you" His eyes flicker toward me but return back to the dancing girls in front of him. "As you know, I have only been in dauntless for two years and so I am at a severe disadvantage compared to the other initiates." Eric rolls his eyes again. "I will give you all of my allowance points for this week if you train me to become a better fighter." He stays silent for a minute taking a couple swigs of his drink. I think he is going to say yes. I don't know how he could turn away that many extra points.

"No" He glances at me casually and then looks back to the girls which are now waving him over.

"No?" I ask astonished.

"No" He walks off toward the girls leaving me by myself. Well, fuck me; I'm never going to pass initiation now.

"Rose?" I hear Uriah's familiar voice shout through the loud music. I turn and give him my best smile.

"Hey I was just trying to find you" I smile at him despite the depressing thoughts going through my head. I don't really like to lie but I don't think it would help the situation if he knew I was down here to see Eric and not him. I could tell he was high by his dilated pupils and how it is impossible for him to sit still. Uriah wraps his arms around me and pushes my hips into his erection. "I'm glad you came" He says seductively in my ear. I'm not exactly in the mood tonight so I raise my hand to my head.

"I think I am going to go back to the apartment, I can feel my headache coming back." His smile drops from his face.

"Fine I guess I'll see you tomorrow then." He seems angry with me, but at this point I don't really care. I know how insistent he can be and if we were to go back up to the room, we definitely end up having sex.

"Okay" I decide to not say good bye and just walk away.

Once I get home I wash off my make up, get into my pajamas and climb into bed. Maybe a couple hours later I hear the door slam and feel the mattress sink as Uriah joins me. I don't know if I can deal with him doing this almost every night. I guess if I don't make it pass stage one I won't have to, I'll be dealing with my own problems.

* * *

"Roxanne; Rose get in the ring" Eric barks at us. I step on to the mat and look at Roxanne. She is not as good as Harry at fighting but I'm pretty sure she will still beat me. The only person worse than me is a small blonde girl named Leticia. I am lost in my depressing thoughts when I hear Eric call go and feel Roxanne's fist connect with my jaw. I stumble back completely forgetting about my pathetic ranking.

"Ow" I wince in a hopeless attempt to get rid of the pain. She lunges at me for another punch but I dodge away. I punch the back of her head as hard as I can but she barely moves. Roxanne knocks my feet out from under me and puts her feet on either side of my body. She punches me once in the temple and I can't move. My vision is too foggy and the pain is unbearable. Getting hit in the temple the day after a concussion is probably not the best thing.

"Stop" Eric calls off the fight. Roxanne backs off and leaves the mat. "We are done today" Eric calls everyone to go to dinner while I struggle to sit up. Uriah rushes over to me.

"Are you okay? You look like a ghost, you have no color in your face" He grabs my hand and helps me up.

"Yeah I'm fine, go ahead to dinner. I'm going to get more water." I give him a small smile. My stomach is turning and I know I am about to throw up. Luckily Uriah leaves the room as I slowly approach the trash can. Eric is still in the training room but he isn't paying attention. I feel my insides clench as I bend over the trash can puking my guts out.

"I'll do it" I hear Eric say as I wipe my mouth.

"What?"

"I'll do it, I'll train you" A smile plays on my lips. "But I get a week's worth of your allowance" I nod repeatedly.

"Okay"

"Meet me here after dinner. Don't be late."

"I won't. Thank you Eric" I can't keep the smile off my face. He doesn't respond so I make my way to the cafeteria. Maybe now I have a small chance of making it.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Hey guys so I know this chapter is super short but I promise I will make it up to you guys. The next chapter is the longest chapter yet and is very interesting. I am working tonight so I doubt I will be able to work on chapter 6 tonight but ****tomorrow ****I don't have school (since it is Sunday) ****_and _****I don't have to work! So I hope I will be able to get a lot of chapter 6 written tomorrow. Please leave comments, critiques, whatever you would like, any feedback is good:) -Ellie**

**Chapter 5**

"You're late" Eric's eyebrows furrow and his lips go into a straight line. I really hope he doesn't freak out and call the whole thing off.

"I'm really sorry, Eric. I had a hard time thinking of a lie to tell Uriah." I take off my jacket and approach him standing by the mat.

"What did you decide to tell that little boyfriend of yours?" He teases me.

"Does it matter?" I step onto the mat. I hated lying to Uriah. I ended up telling him I was going shopping with Roma since she didn't have a lot of dauntless clothes. Eric shrugs and tells me to get into position.

"You are really good with knifes and okay at guns so I figure fighting is something we should focus on." Eric gets into position and I lunge at him. I try to punch him but he grabs my wrist and twists my arm behind my back forcing me to bend over. Eric knees the back of my legs, making me fall down. It took him maybe five seconds to get me down. "I knew you were bad, but not this bad." He loosens my arm and I yank away from him. He chuckles at my frustration.

"Again" I insist and get back into position. We go at it for about an hour before I finally pin him.

"Finally" Eric teases me. I can't help but smile. Maybe I am actually getting better. "Now let's see you try that again." I quickly grab his shoulders and attempt to knee him in the stomach but he grabs it before I can do anything. He lifts my leg higher, making me unbalanced. I attach my arms to his neck which he also grabs with his free hand, wrapping both my wrist tightly together. I start fall and Eric lets go of me making me slam into the mat. He straddles my body and pushes my arms above my head. There goes my winning streak.

"Maybe you are not as good as you think" Eric chuckles.

I smile up at Eric though he doesn't smile back. He still hasn't let go of my arms. His eyes flicker to my lips and I know what he is about to do. Eric leans forward and presses his lips to mine. His kiss is surprisingly soft. I kiss him back without thinking about it. I love the way his lips feel. They are gentle unlike Uriah's kisses. Uriah. I pull away from Eric and turn my head since I am still under his grasp and can't exactly move. I see Eric stare at me in confusion for a second out of my peripheral vision. He lets go of my arms and gets up all in one swift motion.

"Training is over today. Be here tomorrow after dinner and don't be late" Eric pretends none of that just happened but I see hurt behind his eyes and I get slightly angry. He knows I have a boyfriend. Why would he do that and then get mad when I pull away? Now I have go back to the apartment with Uriah and pile onto my list of lies and secrets.

**_Uriah's POV_**

Rose went shopping with Roma so I decided to go get drunk in the pit with Zeke and Four. We are dancing when I realize I am about to be sick. I run into one of the corridors that stem off from the pit and throw up into a trashcan. I know this is the corridor into the training rooms so I wander down and look for a nice mat to go lie down on. I don't really feel like making the trek up the dangerous stairs tonight.

I find a mat outside one of the rooms when I hear Rose's voice. Why is she down here she is supposed to be shopping with Roma? Maybe her and Roma wanted some extra practice so they came down here? That's when I hear _his_ voice. What the hell? I jump up as fast as I can and silently enter the huge training room. I hide behind a stack of mats and peek around the corner. Eric is ontop of Rose holding her arms above her head. I watch as his eyes scan her body hungrily. I am about to burst in when I suddenly see Rose smile at him. Is she cheating on me with him? He leans in and kisses her and she kisses back. She is cheating on me. I close my eyes to avoid throwing up again.

I silently leave the training room trying to think of what to do next. I thought she loved me. How could she do this to me? I mean I know she is doing badly in initiation, but that doesn't mean she should sleep her way to the top. I don't even know how I could possibly confront her about this? I go back into the pit and order a triple shot. I don't even want to deal with this right now. If she wants to be a complete slut then let her but I will get my revenge for making me look like another idiot that helps her climb her way to the top.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: So this one is the longest chapter yet to make up for chapter 5 and it is also the darkest chapter yet. This chapter consists a non-consensual/rape scene just to warn those of you who did not read the description and do not wish to read that scene. It is kind of a big jump in time since the last chapter was based in the beginning of stage one and this chapter is based at the end of stage one but the in between wasn't too important so yeah. Anyways, I don't know when I am going to be able to get Chapter 7 out but I hope it will be soon. Please leave any feedback you would like to give, it is very much ****appreciated****. -Ellie**

**Chapter 6**

Number 20. I stare at the ranking board in front of me. I am barely above the red line. One more rank down and I would be cut. After hours and hours of training with Eric I finally made it pass stage one. Yesterday was everyone's final fight and Eric had purposely put me with the best dauntless born fighter, Darren. I ended up winning the fight though I earned a couple of bruised ribs and a concussion. After the fight, Eric visited me in the infirmary to check on me. He knew I could have very easily not won the fight but he also knew it was my only chance to make it pass stage one.

"Hey Rose" I hear Elliot call me over to him and Roma. I walk over to them with a huge smile on my face.

"Hey guys, what's up" They both also made it.

"We were just wondering if you and Uriah were planning on going to the party tonight."

"I don't think I am but Uriah is probably going." Roma sticks out her bottom lip.

"Why aren't you going?" She asks me in a high-pitched whiny voice.

"I don't know, I think I am going to clean Uriah's dirty ass apartment because he obviously isn't going to do it." Elliot's face lights up after a moment of silence.

"Did you hear about what happened to Drew?" I shake my head. "River and Drew were against each other in the final fight and River beat him literally to a bloody pulp. Now Drew is a vegetable." My mouth drops open.

"Oh my god, are you serious?" That has never happened before. No one has almost died during fights, sure people have gotten seriously injured but not to the point to where they have to be fed through a tube. Roma and Elliot nod with wide eyes.

"Everyone is scared of him now, even Four and Tris are reluctant to tell him what to do." Roma adds. They don't understand why River did this. No one but he and I understand how much of a monster Drew was. Everyone just thinks River is some psychopath with anger problems, though I know he is just trying to avenge his sister. "Well we are going to go get ready for the party tonight. I hope you change your mind." Elliot and Roma walk off toward the dorms and I walk toward Hana's apartment. I really need to pick up some clothes.

Once I get to her apartment, I knock on the door once and let myself in. "Hana? Are you home?"

"I'm in here sweetheart" I hear her call from the living room. I walk into the living room and Hana stands up from the couch to give me a hug. "I haven't seen you in a while; please tell me you made it pass stage one." Her face is full of concern.

"Don't worry, I made it." I decide not to tell her how close I was to not making it. She smiles brightly and hugs me again.

"How is Uriah as a trainer?"

"He's good. He helped me a lot." I lie.

"Well Sweetie, I have bad news. Max is having me go on a three week tour at the fence so I won't be back until after initiation and I'm leaving this evening but Max will have an extra key if you need to get in here for any reason" So this will probably be the last time I will ever see her.

"Okay, then I guess I will see you after initiation" I lie again. I can feel the tears start to sting my eyes at the thought of never seeing Hana again. I look away from her so she can't see me start to cry. Well, I just need to get some extra clothes." I stand up from the couch.

"Okay sweetheart just make sure to say bye to me before you leave"

"Okay" I walk quickly to my room and shut the door behind me. I wipe my eyes and take a deep breath. There is no need to cry and feel sorry for myself; I can still make it past stage two. I take a bag out of my closet and start stuffing as many clothes as I can fit into there. I close my door as quietly as I can. Knowing that I will start crying if I see Hana again, I shout a goodbye and leave before she could say it back.

Once I get back to Uriah's apartment I put my stuff away in my drawer and begin cleaning. He is literally the messiest person I know. It takes me hours to clean up his apartment. I am folding his clothes by the time Uriah comes home high out of his mind. He has been coming home every night high lately. "Hey Babe" I call to him while still folding the clothes and putting them in a nice pile on the bed. He doesn't respond to me. He never does anymore. I check the time on the clock next to the bed. Actually, he usually doesn't come home this early.

I hear Uriah's footsteps approach me. I feel his familiar hands wrap around my waist and tuck themselves underneath my shirt. I continue to fold clothes hoping he would get the picture. I feel his lips press roughly against my neck. "Uriah, I'm folding your laundry right now" I try to shrug him off of me but his arm wraps tighter around my waist. He grabs the back of my neck with his free hand and pushes my torso onto the bed, making the pile of clothes fall over and scatter on the floor. "Uriah!" Why would he do that? I try to stand up but he pushes me back down.

"Shut up" He says with no emotion in his voice.

"Uriah, stop it! You are scaring me!" I struggle underneath his grasp. He has hold of my neck and presses my face down harder into the bed anytime I try to move. My knees are tucked under me so I kick them out at Uriah with as much force as I can muster but he pushes harder on my neck making me feel like it's about to break. I shout out in pain.

"Stop moving, you little slut." This doesn't sound like the Uriah I know and love.

"What are you even talking about?" My voice shakes from the pressure on my neck.

"I saw you with him Slut. Don't play stupid with me." I can hear him messing with his belt. Fear is coursing through my body.

"Uriah, please don't do this" My voice cracks from the sobs building up. The belt stops jingling and I can feel his fingers grab the hem of my shorts and underwear and tear them down my legs.

"Put your knees on the bed" I do as I am told with the fear of him pressing too hard on my neck and snapping it. My whole back side is completely exposed. I hear the belt jingle again and I know exactly what is about to happen. I suddenly feel the horrible sting of the leather belt against my ass. I only let out a small whimper. He brings down the belt at least another five times before he decides I'm not screaming enough and uses the side of the belt with the metal buckle. I scream out of agony as the prong of the buckle punctures my already tender skin. Finally after minutes of torture, he puts down the belt and takes off his own pants. This is the easy part. He releases my neck and as I go to rub my neck with my hand he snatches my arm and flips me over so I am facing him.

"I want you to see it is me who's fucking you this time" He holds my arms above my head with one hand and uses the other hand to stroke himself at my entrance. I stare up at the ceiling just waiting for it to over with. Knowing that there is X and probably alcohol in his blood I figure it is going to take a little longer than usual for him to finish. I feel him push into me and I try my hardest not to make a sound. The sheet sting against my tender backside, and I know I'm bleeding because I feel my hand brush over dried blood on the sheets as I clench it.

"Moan for me Baby, I know you like it" I don't answer him and he slaps me across the face. I moan his name but I can't keep my sobs from interfering. I keep thinking that someone will walk in at any moment and throw him off of me and tell me everything is going to be alright like in the books that I read but I know that my story isn't that kind of story and there is no hero.

Finally I feel him release inside of me. His grasp on my arms become tighter before he finally lets go and rolls over. He gives me a light slap on the leg and pulls the blankets above him. I lay there in the bed waiting for him to go to sleep and thinking of all the different ways I can kill him but none of the option provide enough justice. Once I hear his snores, I get up throw on my underwear and one of the scattered shirts on the floor, and get out of there as soon as possible.

Luckily the hallway is empty because I realize how stupid it was of me just to grab underwear and a t-shirt but there is no way I am going back in there and risking it happening all over again. I wander around the halls until I find myself at the chasm. I sit down on edge, feeling a small relief of the cool stone against my cuts.

Uriah had to have been talking about the time me and Eric kissed. He must have seen it and thought that I was sleeping with him. I have no idea how he could have found himself in that training room but that is the only thing I could possibly think of that could have been misunderstood.

"What are you doing?" I hear Eric's familiar voice. I didn't realize he was standing there. I try to collect myself and wipe my tears away subtly.

"Nothing, I couldn't sleep" I try to say in a casual voice.

"Were you crying?" He says in an almost mocking voice and takes a step closer.

"No"

"Where are your pants?" He chuckles at me.

"Long story" I stand up and try my hardest to not let him know I am in pain. Eric stays silent as he watches me walk. He catches my arm just as I am about to pass him. He is looking down at my upper thighs.

"What happened? Did Uriah do that to you?" I had forgotten about the cuts and the dried blood. When I don't answer Eric he tries to lift up my shirt in the back to see it better but I swat his hand away and glare at him.

"Sorry, let's go to my place. Where we are not out in the open, then you can show me" His voice is full of concern, unlike usual when it is full of mockery and smugness. I hesitate but eventually nod my head and follow him down a series of halls. He unlocks a heavy metal door and holds it open for me. I walk into his apartment and find it surprisingly clean. I stand awkwardly in the middle of his living room waiting for him to shut the door.

"Would you like to lie down on your stomach?" He asks quietly. I nod my head and walk cautiously over to the couch and lie down on my stomach. Eric stands at a safe distance away from me. "Okay I'm going to lift up the shirt a little bit so I can see it okay?" He asks for permission. I nod and confirm with a small yes. He lifts it up and I close my eyes.

"Oh my god, Rose this is bad. Is it okay if I pull down your underwear to see the cuts above your thighs?" The cool air against my injuries makes them sting a little. "I promise I won't touch you" I nod slowly as he pulls underwear down to my knees for a quick second before pulling them back up. I stand up to avoid contact with the couch. "Rose, you need to go to the infirmary." I quickly shake my head. After a moment of silence he sits down on the couch, "What did he do to you?" I start to feel the tears start to come back.

"Well, I think he saw you kiss me and he assumed we were sleeping together so I when he got home tonight after the party he…" My cries turn into full-on sobs. "He held me down and... Whipped me with his belt" I try to take a deep breath but my lungs won't allow it. "And then once he finished whipping me he forced me to have sex with him." I tuck my hair behind my ear and try to wipe away the tears rolling down my cheeks. Eric stares at my neck. He gets up from the couch and holds my hair back examining the bruising from Uriah's hand on my neck.

"Did he use protection?" I shake my head and start to cry again. "Are you on birth control?" I shake my head again. Eric's face looks pained.

"I can't have a baby, Eric. I don't want kids, I never wanted kids." My sobs start up again. I know I am going to have a huge headache in the morning. Eric lets me cry for a little bit while gently rubbing my back. I would have never imagined Eric being this gentle but then again I would have never imagined myself in this situation either. Eric walks over to the sink and wets a rag with cold water.

"Here lie down and put this on the cuts. I am going to find a way to get some supplies from the infirmary." He helped me onto his bed and left me to get some rest. Soon my tired eyes gave in and I was drifting off into sleep.

* * *

_I look around the plain room. All it has in it is a bed, a mirror, and a chest in the corner of the room. I then realize that I am tied to the bed and the only thing that is covering me is a thin sheet. The door at the front of the room opens and a woman with one brown eye and one blue eye comes in with a worried look on her face. I feel a sense of relief wash over me for some reason as she approaches me. _

_ "__Don't worry sweetheart, I'm going to get you out of here." She starts to untie me from the bed. She hands me a white dress and tells me to put it on quickly, which I do. I notice the woman has a yellow shirt and a grey skirt on. Is she factionless? She leads me out of the bedroom and through this house with several of closed doors that have moans coming from them. Where am I? The woman stops abruptly as we step outside. I peek around her and see Marcus Eaton standing in the yard. _

_ "__Rayna, Where do you think you are going with her?"_

* * *

I feel a gentle shake on my shoulder. As I open my eyes, I see Eric standing over me with a bag in his hands. "I got the stuff" I decide not to question how he got it and stand up so I can see what he got. He pulls out a bottle of prescription pills, a package of gauze, some hydrogen peroxide, cotton balls, some medical tape, and some prescription ointment. "And I got this for you" he pulls the final thing out of the bag and it is a small box labeled "Plan B". I can't help but smile.

"Thank you so much Eric" I open up the box and take the pill immediately.

"Alright I need you to lie down so I can doctor you up" I go back and lie down on his comfortable bed. He brings all the stuff and sits down next to me. "I'm going to pull down your underwear again okay?" I nod trying not to worry about it too much. I hear him unscrew the cap of the hydrogen peroxide bottle and tear open the bag of cotton balls. I suddenly feel the cool liquid touch my cuts. It stings a little just from contact but nothing intolerable. "Are you good?" I nod and hug the pillow more. He then applies the ointment with a cotton ball, puts the gauze down and tapes it with medical tape. He carefully pulls my underwear back up, over the gauze. "Here I got you some medicine for the pain. They will make you really sleepy and nauseous if you don't eat anything with it." I take a couple pills from the bottle and dry swallow them. Eric walks over into his small kitchen, consisting of only a cabinet and a mini-fridge, and finds some crackers for me to eat. "Do you have anywhere to stay after tonight?" Eric asks implying that I should stay there for the night.

"No, Hana gave Max an extra key to her apartment but I don't want to tell him why my sleeping arrangements have changed. I will probably just sleep in the dorms tomorrow until I can muster up enough courage to tell Max." Eric nods taking in the information.

"Okay well I will take the couch and you can take the bed" Eric gets some blankets from the closet and makes his way over to the couch. "Night" he says as he covers himself with the blankets.

"Night" My eyes once again grow tired and I drift off into sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: So sorry I couldn't update sooner, I promise you guys I have been using every ounce of my free time trying to write this story, I have just been SO busy. Sundays are a good day for me to sit down and write so if I ever update it will probably be on a Sunday. I am going to shoot for once a week but I'm not making any promises because I honestly do not know what my week will be like. This chapter is not the best chapter in my opinion but I figured it's something hopefully next time I can give you guys something better. Also, I am using the movie-version of capture the flag (neuro-stem darts) because honestly they are way more bad ass than paint-balls. If you guys would like to leave a comment on what you would like to happen or what you think is going to happen that would be great. Thank you guys so much for the support! -Ellie**

**Chapter** **7**

My eyes flutter open and I look around the unfamiliar room. Eric is sprawled out across the couch with his leg hanging off. My body aches and I remember everything that happened last night. I slowly get up from the bed, not making a sound, and stand in front of the mirror. I pull up the long shirt and turn around. Deep cuts that have started to scab over are ingrained into my thighs. I touch the irritated skin around the cuts and wince at the sting. I want to get out of these clothes but I left my clothes in Uriah's apartment. I tip toe over to the door and check to see that Eric is still sleeping. Maybe I can sneak out of here without him noticing. I crack the door open and immediately close it due to the footsteps and voices I hear in the hallway. Shit.

I take a deep breath and begin to open the door again when I hear Eric's voice "What are you doing?" I turn around slowly to find Eric sitting up on his elbows.

"I uh forgot my clothes in Uriah's apartment" I tug at the hem of the t-shirt starting to feel self-conscious.

"Oh, I have some shorts you can borrow." He gets up from the couch and walks over to his dresser. "Here" Eric hands me a pair of black athletic shorts.

"Thank you" I put on the shorts and tighten the drawstring. "But I need to get my clothes eventually" I put my hand on the door handle and start to open the door.

"Let me go. You shouldn't go back there." He is already out the door before I can say no.

* * *

**_Eric's POV_**

I knock on pretty boy's door three times before I decide to let myself in. Uriah is sound asleep in his bed. He stirs and slowly opens his eyes. "What the fuck are you doing here?" He tries to sound intimidating but his grogginess drowns out any fearful aspect of his voice.

"I'm getting your fucking girlfriend's clothes! You fucking prick, do you realize how much fucking damage you did to her! How could a normal human being do that to another human being?" I feel my fist clench and my nails dig into the skin of my palm. I swear to god I am going to hit him. He rolls his eyes and lets his head fall back onto the pillow.

"She got what she deserved." That's when I lost it. I start wailing on him and don't stop until I see red. I step back and grab the small bag of clothes in the corner of the room. "I saw you two, you asshole! I should be the one beating you up!" He holds his nose in attempt to stop the bleeding.

"I fucking kissed her, that's it, you stupid bastard." I start to walk toward the door and catch a glimpse of Uriah's guilt seeping through his pride. "Have fucking fun living with yourself.

The whole way to my apartment I kept on thinking, "I don't need this in my life," over and over again. I busted through the door and threw the bag to startled Rose. "Here's your damn clothes now get out" Her pale face twists in confusion.

"Why? What Happened?" She steps toward me to examine me closer but I recoil.

"Nothing fucking happened. You are just too much fucking drama, Rose. You're toxic." Her mouth drops open for a small second before she pulls together her pride.

"Fuck you Eric" She pushes past me and leaves without another word.

* * *

I open the doors to the cafeteria and spot everyone sitting in their usual spaces except for the one empty seat next to Uriah. Roma smiles and waves drawing attention to my presence, Uriah turns around and gives me an apologizing look. I turn away to avoid his eye contact. I see Eric sitting in the corner, and consider sitting with him, but then the events of this morning play through my head and I decide to skip lunch and go straight for the bar in the pit.

I approach the bar and the bartender smiles at me. "Hey, can I get you something?"

"Yeah can I have a bottle of whiskey?" His eyes grow wide for a second.

"The whole bottle?"

"Yes" He chuckles a little and reaches under the bar.

"Here you go, that will be sixty points" I hand him my card with my id on it. He swipes it and hands me the bottle. "Have a nice day"

"Yeah, you too" Once I make it the chasm I sit down and crack open the bottle of whiskey. I take a deep breath of the smell to prepare my body for the poison I am about pour down my throat. I place my lips around the huge bottle and take a swig. It burns for a second but then the fuzzy feeling in my stomach makes it go away. I sit there and take a couple swigs every couple minutes until I am about half way done with the bottle.

I set the glass bottle down with a little too much force and a loud noise echoes through the halls. I giggle at the thought of it accidently breaking. I don't think I have ever been this drunk before. My body feels so relaxed; this is the best I have felt in days. Maybe I will be able to get some peaceful sleep without those weird ass dreams. I slowly stand up making sure to keep my balance. I need to reach down and get my bottle but I'm afraid I will lose my balance and fall into the chasm. I take a deep breath and focus on grabbing the bottle. I start to feel myself tip over but luckily I grab the bottle before I can fall over. I smile at my accomplishment and make my way down the hall.

I get into the dark hallway and almost immediately trip, falling flat on my face. I hear the glass shatter and feel the liquid seep into my clothing. "Fuck me" I roll over in attempt to get away from the broken glass.

"Rose? Is that you? Are you okay?" I feel familiar hands help me up into a standing position. I look into Four's brown eyes and the tiny gold flecks that I see in my own eyes.

"Oh Hey, Four" I giggle at how much of a wreck I probably look. "What are you doing here?"

"It's the middle of the afternoon and you're this drunk already." He avoids my question. "Uriah's been looking all over for you." He holds my elbow and guides me through the halls. I yank away from his grasp.

"I don't want to go to Uriah. I don't want to talk to him."

"Rose, stop acting ridiculous, He is really worried about you"

"Well tell him he can go fuck himself" Four blushes slightly at the profanity. I stumble off into the other direction and this time he doesn't follow me. I finally get to the dorms, after numerous falls, and find one of the beds that belonged to the initiates who didn't make it pass stage one. Luckily, no one is in the dorms at the time to question my reason for being there; and soon I am drifting off into unconsciousness.

* * *

The first thing I feel is an unexpected breeze on my legs. I open my eyes to find River standing over me, with the sheet in his hand, looking at my legs. Anger starts to well up inside me but once I realize what he is staring at I become shameful. I yank the sheet from his hand and put them back over my legs. "River! You can't just do that!" I scream at him. His face contorts into a mixture of confusion and sorrow.

"What happened?" His eyes break away from my legs and moves to my face for a split second before his gaze moves down to my neck. He pushes back my hair to see the bruises but I brush him away before he can get a good view.

"Stop, just leave me alone" I feel a headache start to come on and I want to curse River for waking me up.

"Did that guy do that to you?" He asks with no-emotion in his voice, just simply curiosity.

"No" I lie. He pauses for a minute.

"In an hour, we are all meeting at the tracks for capture the flag. It's mandatory." He takes one last curious glance at me before stalking out of the dormitory. I get up and change into training clothes. I need to get something to eat and run by the infirmary for some pain-killers. Plus, my legs have been killing me lately so maybe the pain killers will help with that. I know they are incredibly inflamed and running around is probably not the best for the healing wounds but I have no other choice.

Within an hour I am out by the tracks along with all the other surviving initiates. I spot Elliot and Roma standing by themselves.

"Hey guys" I give them a smile and a small wave.

"Oh look who it is, I thought you were avoiding us" Elliot teases with a big grin. _You're not the one I'm avoiding._

"I just didn't feel like eating lunch today"

"Are you sure you aren't avoiding Uriah? We heard you guys got into an argument or something" Roma questions.

"Yeah, something like that" Roma starts to say something but then we hear the train coming and everyone begins running.

When I lift my leg into the car I feel the forming scabs tear open on the back of my thighs. I clench my teeth to keep from screaming out of pain. I notice Eric watching me with a hint of concern. Once everyone is inside, Eric grabs a gun and holds it up for everyone to see.

"This is what we will be shooting each other with" What the hell? Is he trying to kill all of us? One kid pipes up and announces what everyone is already thinking. Eric just simply rolls his eyes and shoots the kid in the leg. Everyone in the car gasps and watches as the kid screams in agony for a minute. "These are neuro-stem darts. They stimulate the feeling of a real gunshot but only last for a couple minutes. The kid stands up on his own and pulls the dart out of his leg. All the trainers walk up to the front of the car, next to Eric. Uriah spots me in the crowd but I quickly look away. Tris and Eric are leading a team and Uriah and Four are leading a team. Uriah and Four pick first and they immediately choose Roma. Eric gazes across the crowd and lands on me, "Rose." I can feel Uriah's glare at Eric. Eric's smug smile remains on his face the whole time. Finally once everyone is split up, Four's team decides to get off first. Unfortunately, Elliot and Roma are on Four and Uriah's team but River is on ours and I know he will be good.

Everyone piles off shortly after the other team gets off. When we land I feel a hand place itself on my back, "Are you okay? I saw you getting into the train" I guess he is deciding to be nice now.

"I'm fine" I snap back. _I'm not fine but I will deal._ I watch River wander off into the forest while the rest of the group tries to come up with a plan. I figure he probably has a pretty good idea and decide to follow him but once I'm in the woods I lose sight of him and realize what a terrible idea this was. After a good thirty minutes of just wandering around I begin to wonder if they left me here by myself. _They couldn't have…could they?_ I am lost in thought when I feel strong hands wrap around my mouth and pin me up against a tree. Shit.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: This chapter is super long so the next chapter will probably be a lot shorter. Also I just wanted to tell everyone who takes the time to review my story that I really appreciate it. It keeps me motivated to write. So thank you guys so much! Tell me what you think about Eric! I want to know!:)-Ellie**

**Chapter 8**

_I am lost in thought when I feel strong hands wrap around my mouth and pin me up against a tree. Shit._

I kick and punch at the figure but never succeed. "Rose! Calm down, it's me!" I hear Uriah's voice. He pulls his hand away from my mouth but keeps me in place up against the tree.

"Uriah, what the hell, let go of me!" I struggle to get away from him.

"Just listen to me and then I will let you go" He sounds exhausted.

"What?" I snap at him.

"I'm sorry about everything. I thought you were cheating on me that why I did what I did. I didn't hurt you too bad, did I?" _Of course, you fucking hurt me._ I try to push him away from me with more force than before.

"Okay, I listened to you Uriah, now let me go!" He is so much stronger than me. I know that if he doesn't willingly let me go then I'm not going anywhere until he feels it necessary.

"Forgive me please, Rose." He is pushing me harder against the tree when I hear a small gasp from him and feel his hands relax. He falls onto his knees and starts clawing at his neck where I spot a neuro-stem dart sticking out of his skin. River runs over to us and grabs my shoulder.

He pushes me into the other direction "run, I'm right behind you." I start running and don't stop until River tells me to stop.

"Thank you" I mutter in between breaths. River smiles for the first time.

He chuckles "I was just shooting the opposing team." He puts his hands behind his head to try to get rid of a cramp. I watch as he walks over to thick tree nearby and pulls out the glowing orange flag. I smile at the sight of it.

"Good job River"

"I found it in the tree just before I heard you screaming" he tosses me the flag "but you should take it. I'm already first rank. You need the points." My face twists in guilt. I hold it out to give it back to him when I hear Eric and the group scream in victory.

"Rose, you found it!" Eric runs up to me with the group on his heels. I look back at River who is giving me an encouraging look. Eric has the biggest grin I have ever seen on him. I guess he just really wanted to win.

On the train ride back everyone is super hyped. Some people are going to go do the Hancock zip-lining tradition and some people are going to go throw a party in the pit. I decide I want to go to the party since I ended up doing the zip-lining thing last year when Zeke was in charge and let me go on it despite my age. Eric interrupts my thoughts and sits down next to me on the cold floor.

"I got your key" I look over to him in confusion. "I snuck into Max's office and found your apartment key." My face brightens.

"Did you really?" Eric pulls a small golden key out of his pocket. I take it from him and give him a big hug. "Thank you, Eric" He grunts and gives me a small smile. Before I know it, we are all jumping off at the dauntless compound.

I immediately make my way up to Hana's apartment. It is going to be so nice to be somewhere familiar and have a nice hot shower. Once I get inside, I turn on the shower and get in. I feel all the weight of the last couple days melt as the hot water runs down my back. Hopefully Uriah is going to Hancock and not the party. I really don't want to deal with him tonight. Zeke will probably convince him to go do the zip line with him so I'm not expecting him to be there. Once I'm out of the shower, I get dressed, put on some make up and curl my hair. Tonight, I'm going to have fun and forget about all the shit that has been happening lately.

I lock the door behind me and begin to walk down to the pit. I can hear the faint music pulsing through the hallways of dauntless getting louder with every step. Once I reach the pit, the music is shaking the ground beneath me. I spot Eric ordering a drink at the bar and decide to go talk to him. As I'm walking through the crowd I notice that most of the initiates are at Hancock and that it is mostly dauntless members at the party. I finally reach Eric and place my hand on his back to let him know I'm there.

He grins at me "Rose!" he shouts way louder than I think he expected to. I can tell he is already drunk by the way he is breathing and the slurring of his words.

"Hi" I smile at him and he leans in and wraps his arm around my waist.

"Do you want a drink? What do you want?"

"Bourbon would be great" He smiles and turns to the bartender.

"Can I get a bourbon and coke." The bartender makes the drink and gives it to me.

"Thank you" I turn to Eric who is looking at my dress. He pinches the fabric between his thumb and index finger.

"I like your dress. You look very nice." I laugh a little.

"Thank you" It seems like I'm saying a lot of that lately. I chug down the rest of my drink and grab Eric's hand, "Let's go dance." I guide him out to the dance floor. I make sure we are facing each other before I start dancing. Dauntless Members go around with trays of little cups with ecstasy inside them. When a guy with a tray passes us I stop him and grab two. Eric looks at me surprised.

"I didn't know you did X."

"I don't" I hand him a cup and swallow my pill. He swallows his shortly after. We continue to dance like we didn't take anything but after about thirty minutes; I know it had kicked in. We had both scooted in to each other to where my hips were touching his. Eric runs his hands across my body and it feels like electricity is shooting through his fingertips. His hand runs up into my hair and grabs a fistful. He leans in and presses his lips to mine. I immediately kiss back. I bite down on his lip and kiss him again.

"Do you want to get out of here?" I nod my head as he takes my hand in his and leads me through the dense crowd. Once we get to his door, the anticipation is too much and I start to kiss him again as he is trying to get his door unlocked. He kisses me back and pulls away for a second to finish unlocking the door. He pushes the door open and pulls me inside. He shuts the door with his foot and leads me to the bed. I sit up and help him take off his shirt. His chest glows from the moonlight seeping in through his window. I trace my hands down his torso, admiring it.

I reach around and unzip my dress. Eric gently tugs at the straps and lets the dress fall slightly. He grabs the bottom of it and pulls it off of my body so that I am left in my underwear and bra. He kneels on the bed in front of me. He starts to unbuckle his belt and the familiar jingling brings back memories of the night I desperately want to forget. I dismiss the memories and focus on Eric. He pulls off his jeans and throws them on the ground. The belt, still in the loops, makes a loud sound as it hits his hardwood floors. I can't help but flinch.

"Are you okay?" Shit, he noticed.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"What happened? Is this okay? Do you not want to do this?" Eric sounds almost nervous with all of his questions. I open my mouth to speak but nothing comes out. He reaches down and puts back on his jeans.

"No, I want to" I stand up and put my hands on his warm chest. He gently wraps his hands around my wrists.

"Rose, I don't think we should. It's too soon." He pauses for a moment and waits for my reaction. "But you can still sleep here tonight if you want." I nod my head in defeat. "Come here" Eric pulls me into him and wraps his arms around me. I pull away and go lay down in the bed. He walks around to the other side and does the same. Honestly, I'm kind of glad we decided not to do anything. If I would have start crying during it, I would have been mortified. Eric scoots closer to me and pulls me into him. Uriah never made me feel this safe. I hear Eric's soft snores and begin to fall asleep to his rhythmic sounds.

* * *

"Roma, you're with me. Ebony, you're with Eric" Uriah stands with his clipboard in front of the two ominous rooms. Today, we started the mental stage. Roma and the quiet abnegation girl get up from the bench lining the waiting room. Elliot squeezes her hand before she leaves with Uriah.

"Is it going to be the same thing we saw for the aptitude test?" Elliot nervously asks me. I shake my head.

"I don't think so." After a good 30 minutes, Uriah and Eric emerge from their rooms again. I guess they are sending the initiates through a back hallway so that they can't tell us about the test. I really hope I don't get stuck with Uriah. Eric speaks this time.

"Rose you're with me. Katherine you're with Uriah." Katherine looks at Uriah and winks at him. He obviously enjoys her flirtatiousness. I feel a small pang of jealously though I convince myself to forget about them. Everyone watches as he gives her a small smack on the butt before locking the door. Everyone's eyes then turn to me to watch my reaction. I hold my breath and enter Eric's room before I can burst out and ask everyone what they are staring at. I'm just glad I got to go with Eric and not Uriah. "Sit down" Eric gestures to the metal chair in the middle of the room. There is a computer monitor and a bunch of wires next to it where I am assuming Eric will be sitting.

I sit down on the cool metal and Eric takes the wires in his hands. I watch as he attaches them to my chest and forehead, my nerves building up with every wire he puts on. "You are going to go through every single one of your subconscious fears. The average amount of fears is ten to fifteen. You will not be aware that it is a simulation. Try you're best to slow down your heartbeat or face your fear. I will be watching everything on the monitor." Eric grabs the injection gun and shoots me in the neck with it. It hurts for a second but then it goes away and I find myself very tired.

I close my eyes for a split second and when I open them again I am standing on the walkway across the chasm. My hands and feet are tied and I hear faint talking in the background. I feel hot breath on my ear and they begin to whisper "Goodbye Rose." I feel them give me a hard shove and I fall off the walkway. Right before I hit the water the scene changes.

I am standing at the tracks and all the dauntless leaders are there. They look at me with pitiful stares. Eventually Eric speaks up, "Rose you did not make it pass initiation. You must now leave dauntless premises or have an honorable death, which do you choose?" I don't answer as I am in shock. Eric pulls out a gun and holds it up. He starts to count down and I panic. 1…2…3. I hear the loud sound of the gunshot and close my eyes, though the bullet never hits me.

When I open my eyes, I'm in the Pit. All dauntless members are there. I spot River first, I walk over to him and say hi. He gives me a confused glance like he doesn't recognize me. That's kind of rude. I spot Roma and Elliot over in the corner smiling at each other. I approach them but they give me the exact same treatment. Did Uriah make them all ignore me or something? I see Hana through the crowd talking to Max. I run over to her. She wouldn't be playing Uriah childish games. "Hana!" I shout. She looks scared as I approach her. "It's me, Rose!" She looks over a Max frightened.

"I'm sorry I do not know you. You must be mistaken me for someone else." Zeke starts to approach us. I notice that everyone had become quiet and is watching me make a scene.

"Is there a problem here?" Zeke looks over me with glazed eyes. I ignore him and grab Hana's arm roughly. "Hana, Stop playing games!" Zeke steps in and pushes me onto the ground with all of his might. My elbows hit the concrete first then as my head smacks into the ground I fall into another scene.

I am standing on the train tracks by the dauntless compound. I look up and see Hana and Zeke and Four and Tris and Eric and Roma and Elliot all standing behind the line that indicates they are safe from the train's path. The tracks begin the shake and I hear the horn of the train as it comes around the corner. Shit, if I don't get out of these tracks I am going to die. I try to move but my body seems paralyzed. Everyone turns to me with smile on their faces. They all hold up their hands and wave in sync. I call to them for help but they don't listen they just smile and wave. The train's lights keep getting brighter and brighter and the horn louder. I close my eyes and cover my ears as I feel the front of the train graze my legs before disappearing.

Suddenly, I am lying down on a cot. All around me is food, tons and tons of food. I feel a horrible pang of hunger arise from me and I try to get off the cot but I can't. I look down and see how skinny I am. I look like a skeleton. My knees are bigger than my thighs and my wrists are basically the size of twigs. I try again to get up but I fall back in exhaustion. Hunger eats away my insides as I lie in my cot and struggle to get up. Finally after what seemed forever my eyes close and I fall asleep.

I am lying outside the dauntless compound on the gravel. My body aches and I feel the familiar sting of cuts as I try to move. I feel a sharp kick to my side and then I feel another set of hands punch me. Then, all I feel is an overwhelming feeling of pain as multiple limbs hit me. I keep thinking to myself that it is never going to stop and I start to cough up blood on to white gravel beneath me. I focus on my breathing and try to forget everything. The landscape changes again.

I am in bright fluorescent room. I kind of reminds me of a hospital room but the only thing is has in it is a white bed in the middle of the huge room. I look around and see a mirror and realize that it is a one-sided window. Is someone watching me? Suddenly apart of the wall opens up and Uriah walks in in an all-white robe. I look down and notice I am in the same attire. His face is completely emotionless. A familiar female voice speaks throughout the room "Go ahead, Uriah". Uriah steps forward and takes off his robe exposing his naked body. He grabs at my robe and yanks it off as well. I immediately try to cover myself up knowing that someone else is on the other side of the mirror. Uriah pushes me face down onto the bed and spreads my legs. I start to cry and kick him away but he is too strong. He rapes me in front of the mirror until the voice tells him to stop but this time it is a different voice. It is the voice of Marcus Eaton.

* * *

I gasp for air as I am pulled back into reality. I feel my lungs desperately search for relief as I begin to sob. I feel Eric take off the wires and I remember that I am not alone. "Fuck" I say the only thing that comes to mind as I try to wipe my tears away.

Eric chuckles "It will get easier. I promise."

"That will never be easy." Eric hands me a bottle of water.

"I didn't say easy I said _easier_." I drink some water and it helps me calm down some. "You actually did really well. You only had seven fears and most people have about twelve." He helps me up from the chair. "Now go get some rest. Tomorrow we are doing this again."

I leave through the back hallway. I hope Eric didn't watch that whole last fear but I know that is part of his job. I think back to my last thought during the simulation. Why was Marcus Eaton in my last fear? And who was that woman?


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: I am so sorry it has taken me so long to update. I've been so stressed out from AP English and work and money that I haven't had any time to write plus on top of that I wasn't entirely sure what I wanted to write about. But, now I am back on track and I have general idea of what I want to write for the chapters ahead. This chapter is a big one for Rose and Eric, Just warning you, be prepared. I know this is short but it's something and the chapters to come are going to be very interesting. So, I hope you guys enjoy. -Ellie**

**Chapter 9**

Initiation has been a bitch. Every day when I come home I am completely exhausted from the emotional and mental rollercoaster I am forced to go through. My eyes are puffy and red from crying and I just overall look like shit. Luckily, today is the last day of initiation and then on Saturday is our final test. I'm not exactly sure what to expect but I really hope I do okay. As of right now I'm ranked twelve and they are going to be cutting ten people after the test so that we are down to ten people total. Judges from all the factions are coming in to watch us go through our fear landscape. They are judging on how fast you finish and how you face your fear.

"Rose!" Eric looks down at his clipboard and marks something off. "You're up." I give Elliot and Roma a small smile before getting up from the bench. I pass through the threshold and Eric closes the door behind us. "Are you ready?" He grabs the wires and starts to place them on my skin. I squeeze my eyes shut and nod, accepting the familiar sting of the needle in my neck. "Good luck." His words fade as I can feel myself be pulled away from reality.

* * *

My fears go through regularly. I've gotten better at slowing my heart rate down. It isn't until I get to my last and worst fear that something different happens. The voice still comes over the intercom and Uriah still enters the room and does the "usual" but this time after the voice tells Uriah to stop, the simulation lingers longer than expected. I hear the door unlock and watch as the handle turns. Unfortunately, I wake up before I can see who is behind the door.

* * *

"It changed" I say once I catch my breath. Eric proceeds to take the wires off. I watch as Eric purses his lips nervously before speaking.

"I know, I saw." Eric looks at me with pity.

"Don't give me that look Eric." I scoff and roll my eyes, getting up from the chair.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to." I watch his eyes quickly scan my body as I stretch my arms. I smile and step toward him, wrapping my arms around his neck. His hands grasp my waist, his lips lightly teasing mine. "Are you coming over tonight?" I pull away and nod my head. "Okay well go get some dinner. I'll see you tonight." He kisses my cheek before I leave through the back door and make my way to the cafeteria.

* * *

_Knock. Knock. Knock. _The doorknob shakes before it turns and the door swings open. A big grin spreads across Eric's face.

"Hey" He grabs my hand gently and pulls me into the apartment. "I've missed you" he wraps his arms around my lower back and presses me against his chest. His lips press against mine with a small force. I kiss him back and run my hands up his chest. He pulls back from me and rests his forehead against mine. "Do you want to?" He whispers, trying to catch his breath. I nod my head repeatedly.

"Yeah" He smiles and takes my hand. Eric sits down on the bed in front of me. I take off my shirt and my jeans as Eric does the same. He sits with his back against the backboard as I climb onto his lap. I kiss him as his fingertips trace the sensitive scars on the back of my thighs.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" He sounds slightly nervous.

"Of course" I giggle and kiss him again. He moves his lips across my neck and chest. The warmth of his mouth against my skin makes my hips grind against him. I feel him grow hard underneath me and a moan escapes my throat, encouraging him to continue.

Eric reaches over into the bedside drawer and pulls out a condom. He rips the foil with his teeth and pushes down his underwear, making himself slap against his stomach. He puts it on with ease, as if he had done a million times and it was as simple as remembering to brush his teeth every day.

The position I am in doesn't allow for a lot of room to take off my underwear completely so I decide to just move them to the side. I then place my hands on Eric's shoulder as I slowly lower myself onto him. My insides clench and ache with pleasure as I feel him inside me. His hands move to my waist and press his finger nails into my skin. The greatest part is hearing his short raspy breaths and watching his eyes squeeze shut every time I clench.

I then rest my forehead on his collarbone trying to catch my breath. I kiss him and roll over in his sheets. Eric turns over and disposes of the condom in the wastebasket next to the bed. I want to say something to him, telling him how much I like it, but I also don't want to sound cheesy. "We should do it again" I smile at him as he turns around to face me.

Eric scoots closer, "That sounds tempting but it's late and you need some sleep. Tomorrow's the big day." My heart drops at the thought of it. Being ranked twelve means that the likelihood of me passing initiation is slim which also means I will have to leave everything I have ever known and go into a world full of hunger and desperation. I feel a small tear escape before falling asleep and accepting my fate.


End file.
